3 BIG ways to be independent in a relationship

1. Find yourself

Don’t get lost in your partner in the name of love to the point of losing yourself totally. Know who you are, and what gives you “kick” and work on it. Your partner needs breathing space as much as you do – don’t be clingy lest you become a burden for your partner. Let your partner see you at your best and they will be happy you are their partner.

It does a lot of good for them as it does to you when they know you are serious with life for the reason that you have understanding of the way you want to live. Make your proposal to your partner in your attempt to do what inspires you and reach a conclusion where your partner and relationship won’t have to suffer from your persona; adventure. You will become selfish if your relationship and partner is affected.

2. Be determined to be a support system

We all have our definition of ‘independence.’ To some extent, providing support by contributing your little token – physical or emotional is a good way of becoming independent in your relationship. Doing this will seal your fate with theirs and you are becoming more important to them. A subtle way to become independent is creating a relationship of dependence – most often, let your partner feels your providence. Make your offerings to them where need be and they won’t be able to ignore the fact that you put something on the table for them. Lead from behind, let them feel your support from behind and you will gain healthy independence. Engage your head for them (thinking through for them and providing them with options where need be), engage your hand for them (let something leave your hand to give them).

3. Revel in Self-love

Self-love is self-help: it causes you to look within and appreciate yourself the more. It restrains you from looking for what is not lost. Without self-love, you look up to other to provide and supply what they don’t have for you: you look up to people for your happiness and because you do this, you cage yourself and your relationship will turn the other way around and be a snare to you.

Give yourself a better treat that others could have given to you. Embrace your weakness and strength and don’t reject yourself. Rejecting yourself will move your partner to reject you eventually. There is a greater independence within you – only self-love will search it out for you. There is a freedom that will enhance your performance in love relationship if you embrace yourself. The self-love here is self-aware, and not being excessive pride. Have a life and live it. A popular wise saying reads: Man, know thyself.

Without self-love, it will be difficult for you to know yourself well and better. Without it, you won’t be able to enjoy independence.